The Train Etiquette Post

I have tried to resist writing a blog entry on train etiquette, but the urge has become too strong.

It is not a simple topic to address, since we all have different opinions as to what is acceptable behaviour on the train. My opinions are just my opinions - but I'm assuming that I'm fairly 'normal' and that the things that bug me on my daily commute also bug most other commuters.

This is a topic that I'm sure I'll come back to from time to time, so I'll just start with a couple of observations, rather than a comprehensive list.

Filing of nails
It is rare, but it happens - some people believe that it is ok to file their nails on the train.  What are these people thinking?  Surely they realise how repulsive this is.  Firstly there is the noise - it is only a few degrees away from the awful nails dragged over a blackboard sound.  And then there is the hygiene issue - I have no desire to inhale fine particles of nails, or have the powdery residue distributed over my clothes.

Filing of nails on the train is just plain gross.  Don't do it! Thankfully I've never witnessed a nail clipper on the train.  Have you?

Passive ipod-ing
Less repulsive than nail filing, but way more common.  In fact, almost every train trip that I make involves passive ipod-ing, thanks to one or two selfish passengers in the carriage who cannot possibly consider listening to their ipods at anything less than maximum volume.  I'll refer to such people as a SBIL (small brained ipod listener).

Why is it that the SBIL almost always has crappy taste in music? Why does the SBIL think that other passengers want to hear what they are listening too?

The SBIL somehow manages to ignore the glances and stares from other passengers that any normal human being would interpret as a sign that they are doing something anti-social.  They don't care when they sit right next to a person trying to read a book, or perhaps doing some work, knowing full well that they'll be blasting them with impossible to ignore ipod pollution.

Here's a very simple piece of advice to SBILs - FOR GOD'S SAKE, TURN IT BLOODY DOWN!  In all likelihood, you'll eventually live long enough to go somewhat deaf naturally - why on earth would you want to accelerate the process?  You're not completely stupid - you have enough common sense to get your music onto your gadget - but for some reason you can't understand how to operate the volume control - what is this about?  Maybe years of maximum volume causes damage to brain cells as well as hearing?

SBILs are a prime example of the group of commuters who seem to live by the motto of "I'll do what I like, and stuff the rest of you".

My favourite technique for dealing with SBILs is to either start singing, or just miming along if I know the tune, or to start nodding my head to the beat if it's some hardcore dance track.  Obviously I don't do this if the SBIL looks like a psychopathic moron - unfortunately this is normally the case.

And one last observation on SBILs - about 90% of them are male.  Make of this what you will.

I'll come back to some of the other train nuisances (mobile phones, stinky fast food, drunks, seat hoggers etc etc) in later posts.

Until then, I hope that you have enjoyed your long Easter weekend.  If, like me, you've managed to avoid Metro during this period, no doubt your stress levels have reduced substantially!